And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Come on in and take your pants off
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