I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
