Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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