dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
