Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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