you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
