operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize