Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
