Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
