The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
