it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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