lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
