Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And then my night got REAL pukey
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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