conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize