We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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