You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
