Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
