Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
