Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
