so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
