btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
