her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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