And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
smell my finger.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize