she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
