Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
