hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
