in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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