hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
