margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
