When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
