Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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