He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
