The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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