Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
