i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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