Im at strip club and am horny
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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