...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
