haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
