no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize