Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
