And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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