roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
