Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Small penises have feelings too.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize