Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
