Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
