but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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