I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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