I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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