2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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