Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize