Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
