I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Randomize
