No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
