just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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