my sisters under your porch take her home
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
