It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
