she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
