Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
