Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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