is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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