6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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