I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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