Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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