im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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