I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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