i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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