I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
