I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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