talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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