remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
