dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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