Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The air was thick with penises
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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