Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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