i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sext me about skeletons
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
