fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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