I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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