i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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