I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
