I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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