I think my vagina is haunted
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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